It’s been a while since I’ve had some “highlights.” So, here’s a conglomeration (it’s better diversification for your business).
- Stood behind this woman for 10 minutes at a bank branch, she continually whisper-shouted such gems as:
“Hurry up, lady!”
“She don’t care! Hurry!” - Offered to teach semaphore at the Indiana Blind School.
- Worked a rainy gig where the satellite operator told us:
“I’m burning a hole in God’s ass and we’re still not busting through.” - Thought I had successfully passed a Constitutional amendment banning this man from speaking to the masses. Apparently I was wrong.
- Waited at the Hardee’s window for 5 minutes, before the woman who took my order got there, too. Was nervous she took my order and prepared it while in the can.
- Heard this exchange at a soccer game:
“This is almost as good as American football.”
“Except the Dolphins.” - Told Comcast (aka Comshaft) to go to hell, and said “Hello!” to AT&T’s Uverse. Even though it did take 6 hours for the install.
- Was invited to a 1974 Democratic BBQ.
- Tried to convince a co-worker that Beta is God’s chosen format because the original translation of the Bible says that He is the “Beta and the Omega.”
- Â Guessed how many cans of O’Doul’s NA it would take to get a kitten drunk.
