DTV: Explained

This is what our viewers are really going through

How to liven up a crowd at church

Is Jesus really Superman? I’ve never seen both of them together

On our trip to the Outer Banks last year, Dan had one of the most amazing devices ever created. In fact, there’s a good chance it wasn’t made by man, but spawned from the hopes and dreams of drunk college students the world over.

The instrument was simply a pair of flip flops, but hidden underneath the flop was a bottle opener. Yes, a bottle opener.

In OBX it was all the rage, we all wanted to use- what basically amounted to Dan’s shoe- the sandal to open our tasty adult beverages.

Well this year, he’s in for it.

I found a device that’s amazing-ness surpasses that of the sandal-disguised bottle opener, the hat-disguised bottle opener.

Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

It’s not really disguised, though. I mean the opener is right out there on the end. In fact, there’s a chance I could put an eye out with that thing, but whatever.

Dangerous. Pointy. Delicious.

Oh well, off to the airport. Got a plane to catch so I can use this thing on the beach tonight.

Sometimes (read: at least twice a week) I walk down to the vending machine for a sugar boost. Usually I go for the Three Musketeers bar, as that’s the only think I’ve found guaranteed not to have melted or gone stale in the delivery truck.

Today I took a closer look at the row beneath my usual destination, and was surprised by their pricing/marketing technique.

For some reason I have a feeling E2 is a lot more popular than E5

A co-worker forwarded this my way the other day, and I’ve found myself giggling about the “Boston Market” line quite frequently.

Ooh Girl - An Honest R&B Song

“Cause I just had a big dinner”
Boston Market
“And I’m struggling with some negative body issues.”

They need to check their map

Last time I looked, Google Maps has that distance as 147 miles. But 10 miles is a decent estimate, I guess.

“Okay, let’s put it on the truck!”

“No, wait. Bring it back! It can’t go out until tomorrow!”

These are the screws that hold my TV together. The TV I haven’t been able to put back together since I moved. Mainly because I’m not smart enough to put the original screws with the TV during a move.

Fair use is an interesting topic within copyright law. During media law classes in college, it was always a conversation starter.

Copyright law protects our property and creations. Movies, books, poems, blog posts, music, blueprints, videos and everything else you can think of are covered.

But there’s a great loophole that lets others use part of your work (and not technically as a derivative work). Fair use. It lets news programs and people poking fun of your work use your work. Keep in mind that satire and parody are two very different things, and I can’t remember which one is protected speech when I’m this many beers deep already.

Anywho, here’s a very helpful (and fun) explanation of fair use using fair use.

Genius. Simply genius.

Earlier this week, I was standing in line at Walgreen’s. While I was waiting, I took a few moments to admire the delicious looking candy, cough syrup and nail clippers that occupy the “impulse buy rack.” All I could think was, “Wow, for some reason I really feel the need to buy a 5-pack of 10 minute VHS tapes.”

That feeling soon passed. Why?

Because of the greatest impulse buy item. Ever.

The Walgreen’s brand One-Step Pregnancy Test.

And not just any pregnancy test. Apparently this one is so good (or bad) you should buy two! I mean, c’mon. Who wouldn’t want to buy more and save? You’re saving $2, hell buy four.