And thus begins our journey as a species toward starvation.

Edit: Also the complete and utter failure of journalism.

The same day the City of Indianapolis announced a multi-million dollar plan to demolish abandoned homes, 6 News went out and did a story on “the city’s dirty secret.” Winona Memorial Hospital.

In news, sometimes the most important or interesting elements of a story are hidden in the middle or even near the end, a practice known as burying the lede. But Lehigh Valley Live had no such problems with this story I came across. The piece was full of amazing content, I absorbed every word.

Their headline didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, though:

Holland Township family angry that supermarket won’t personalize cake for their son

Perhaps a more appropriate headline would have been:

Supermarket refuses to make birthday cake for Adolf Hitler

That could have been their highest rated story of all time!

Oh, and there’s no lying or misleading being done in my version of the title.

The bulk of the story comes down to the fact ShopRite supermarket denied a family’s request to make a birthday cake for their 3-year old son. The priceless part is what ShopRite’s public response was:

“We believe the request … to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate,” said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.

I think they could have taken a stronger approach, and not lost any (or much) business. I mean, are there a lot of people out there who think it is appropriate to wish Hitler a happy birthday? And who would go to a discount grocery store to get a cake for him? I’d want to make sure I really knew the person behind the counter before I asked them to icing that onto a sheet cake.

I guess the only way they could have lost more business is if there are more families in their area who have named their children in a fashion similar to this couple:

• JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell
• Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell
• Adolf Hitler Campbell

Read the full story: Family angry over son’s birthday cake