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We will get them, nickel by nickel

Sometimes (read: at least twice a week) I walk down to the vending machine for a sugar boost. Usually I go for the Three Musketeers bar, as that’s the only think I’ve found guaranteed not to have melted or gone stale in the delivery truck.

Today I took a closer look at the row beneath my usual destination, and was surprised by their pricing/marketing technique.

For some reason I have a feeling E2 is a lot more popular than E5

For some reason I have a feeling E2 is a lot more popular than E5

Please use button

Please use button to open elevator door

"Please use button to open elevator door." I didn't realize there was another option.

Do people actually buy this stuff?

I’ve seen the commercials hundreds of times. I know I’ve never wanted one. It doesn’t matter what product, I might say “that’s cool” or “that’s interesting,” but really I’m thinking “what would I do with that crap?”

ShamwowExcept maybe the Shamwow. Though the host of their commercials freaks me out more than a little bit.

I mean, what am I going to do with the Hercules Hook? I don’t think I have 150 lbs. of stuff to hang from a hook. My fingers are still able to move enough that I don’t need the Clever Clasp. And I don’t have enough people to spy on to warrant buying the Listen Up.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is how desperate the manufacturers of these products have gotten. I don’t remember what product was being peddled earlier this evening, but they had the best payment plan of all-time. I might consider buying it, just because of the “deal” I would receive.

2 easy payments of $9.99

It can’t get much better than that, I guess.

I think someone at UPS made a mistake

“Okay, let’s put it on the truck!”

“No, wait. Bring it back! It can’t go out until tomorrow!”

12:26 PM Arrival > 4:17 PM Departure > 4:51 PM Arrival

These are the screws that hold my TV together. The TV I haven’t been able to put back together since I moved. Mainly because I’m not smart enough to put the original screws with the TV during a move.

That could be the most disgusting flavor ever

This one caught me really off-guard the other day.

Usually two or three times a week, I make the treacherous trip down to the basement of the station. There could still be Asbestos lurking in the rafters, I’m not sure. But I do know that I have to go down there. That’s where they hide the candy.

I approached the vending machine. Trembling, I opened my wallet. I think my blood sugar was probably low; I mean I do get excited about Zingers, but not like that.

As I went to browse the bottom row, checking to see if we had Vanilla or Chocolate Zingers this week, I quickly glanced across the chip selection. You never know when you’ll need a bag of chips after the sugar rush is gone. Nothing truly interesting to see, but wait. “Did I just see a Burger King logo?” My eyes darted back to the center of the case. Thinking someone managed to get a Whopper wrapper into the vending machine I had to look. But to my surprise and disgust I saw…

Burger King brand Ketchup & Fries flavored chips

Ketchup & Fries flavored chips from Burger King. Yes, you read it correctly. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I didn’t even give them a try. And the only reason they got a second and third glance was so that I could grab my camera. That kind of flavor atrocity is on the same level as Steak-flavored ice cream or Long John Silvers.

If you’ve tried them, let me know. But I have a feeling you might be even more sane than me.

Praticing Spanish

I’ve been told I need to work on rolling my R’s in Spanish. I was sent this list of words to practice with, and was told that it’s all about relaxing your tongue. It was suggested that I work on this process with @mmagnolia22. I think somewhere in there is a sexual harassment case.

Your 10 Spanish “R” words for personal practice:

  1. Puerto Rico
  2. carro ( kah-row) (car)
  3. rojo (row-hoe) (red)
  4. reja ( ray-ha) (fence)
  5. raza ( rah-sa)(race)
  6. reloj ( rey-low) (watch)
  7. rosa ( row-sa) (pink)
  8. raton ( rah-tone) ( rat)
  9. red ( re-ed) ( internet)
  10. ron (rum)

Odd. To say the least. But helpful.

What a deal!

Earlier this week, I was standing in line at Walgreen’s. While I was waiting, I took a few moments to admire the delicious looking candy, cough syrup and nail clippers that occupy the “impulse buy rack.” All I could think was, “Wow, for some reason I really feel the need to buy a 5-pack of 10 minute VHS tapes.”

That feeling soon passed. Why?

Because of the greatest impulse buy item. Ever.

The Walgreen’s brand One-Step Pregnancy Test.

And not just any pregnancy test. Apparently this one is so good (or bad) you should buy two! I mean, c’mon. Who wouldn’t want to buy more and save? You’re saving $2, hell buy four.

Not my first thought in the men’s room

Another exciting week concluded on Saturday. I was planning to write this (ridiculously short and simple) post from the Indiana State Fairgrounds before our most recent Mecum Auto Auction on HD Theater, but ended up getting distracted by work (silly work).

I must say that the funniest part of the week had to be a trip to the restroom at the Fairgrounds. The auction show took place in the Chicken Coop, and this was the sign on the wall in men’s room.

I don’t know if it’s referring to cows, some weird sexual act, or the bathroom attendants that (by the condition of the bathroom) did not exist. But just so you know, don’t do it in there.