I wouldn’t exactly say I’m the best at protecting the environment, but I do my part.

I’m not an eco-extremist. I don’t wear hemp clothes. I still drive my regular gas-powered car. I travel on planes. I don’t grow my own produce. I have an air conditioner, which I use when appropriate (for example, +80°). I use paper, but I recycle the old pieces. I’ve been known to buy Starbucks coffee in those disposable paper cups (which is a topic for another blog post). Oh, and I throw some things in the trash.

Wow, this is starting to sound depressing.

Those are the things I don’t do well when it comes to being eco-friendly. But I’d like to think I’ve made some changes to lessen my carbon footprint (with help from @mmagnolia22).

We recycle like crazy. We try to drive her Prius more than my Impala. We have CFLs in our most used lighting fixtures. We buy local. We buy used. We use reuseable bags. We strive to buy things that come in recyclable packaging.

And you know what? It’s not really a hassle at all. It hasn’t changed my shopping habits, it hasn’t made me a hippie.

But I’ve noticed there’s a lot of things I can do in addition to what I’m doing now.

For a long time, when we go to Noodles & Co. on the IUPUI campus we take a bag to be reused. We’ve probably used the same bag for more than 15 trips. It’s thick, durable and not recyclable.

So I decided to try something the other day.

I eat at Subway fairly regularly, and I feel bad throwing out the bags; the closest grocery store and dry cleaner location don’t take back plastic bags. In the past I’ve told them I don’t need the bag, just the paper wrapper. Then they decided to put it in the bag anyway. Obviously that didn’t work.

So a few weeks ago, I took a Subway bag back to the store.

I went through the sandwich making process with an “artist.” I always wonder if they take photos or paint. As I approached the end of the line (you know, where the cookies are), I told them I had my own bag.

They stared at me.

Utterly confused.

Like a… I can’t even think of an example.

I had to explain to them that I had a bag from my last visit, and I would like to reuse the bag. All they had to do was put the food in the bag I handed them, then hand it back. I know it added a step to the process, but I figured it was worth the headache. After working through that situation, I walked out the door, happy with my personal accomplishment. I’m sure they cursed my name.

But just think about if we all reused one bag. Or just took two extra minutes each day to reduce what we send to the landfill.

This isn’t a “global warming,” “conservative,” “liberal,” “Al Gore,” nor “tree-hugger” thing. This is a “why waste so much crap” thing.

100%.

I am quite possibly the biggest idiot to have purchased a shampoo or haircare product. Ever.

I have a pretty healthy head of hair. Nice and thick. No bald spots. Grows incredibly fast.

So I was out shopping for new shampoo, and a bottle of Suave 2-in-1 caught my eye.

“For thick full hair”

I overlooked the part about “Thickening formula” and that by “for” they meant “use to get” instead of my interpretation of “use on.”

No wonder the check out clerk looked at me like I was an idiot.

Idoit.

I had to literally laugh out loud when I watched this video.

• Did you know that 85% of your prospects will visit your website before contacting you?
• What will happen when they get there? Does your website look professional?
• Do you have video on your website? You have to have video on your website.
• It also give you credibility. Showing visitors that you exist and aren’t another web-only business.

I only have a few points to make about this “professional” “website”:

1. 85% of potential customers visiting your website sounds reasonable. But if your website looks anything like what they’re suggesting it should look like, no one will be coming to your business.
2. When they get there: If they see video and are Digital Natives, they’ll think you’re not professional. If they are Digital Immigrants they’ll think you’re a highly successful company with tons of cash on hand. Know your target demo!
3. You do not have to have video on your website. Many businesses have no reason to have video. VIDEO DOES NOT MAKE YOU SUCCESSFUL!
4. Did you know web-only businesses can make videos too? No shit!

Original here.

In news, sometimes the most important or interesting elements of a story are hidden in the middle or even near the end, a practice known as burying the lede. But Lehigh Valley Live had no such problems with this story I came across. The piece was full of amazing content, I absorbed every word.

Their headline didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, though:

Holland Township family angry that supermarket won’t personalize cake for their son

Perhaps a more appropriate headline would have been:

Supermarket refuses to make birthday cake for Adolf Hitler

That could have been their highest rated story of all time!

Oh, and there’s no lying or misleading being done in my version of the title.

The bulk of the story comes down to the fact ShopRite supermarket denied a family’s request to make a birthday cake for their 3-year old son. The priceless part is what ShopRite’s public response was:

“We believe the request … to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate,” said Karen Meleta, a ShopRite spokeswoman.

I think they could have taken a stronger approach, and not lost any (or much) business. I mean, are there a lot of people out there who think it is appropriate to wish Hitler a happy birthday? And who would go to a discount grocery store to get a cake for him? I’d want to make sure I really knew the person behind the counter before I asked them to icing that onto a sheet cake.

I guess the only way they could have lost more business is if there are more families in their area who have named their children in a fashion similar to this couple:

• JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell
• Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell
• Adolf Hitler Campbell

Read the full story: Family angry over son’s birthday cake

The Bush Game

Throw shoes at the President of the United States of America. Enough said. Link: The Bush Game

WTF Stamp

The best holiday gift this season. Students turn in a test with ridiculously wrong answers? Subordinate can’t tell the difference between “they’re,” “there” and “their?” Friend got drunk, passed out on your couch and is now begging to how something written on him? Then this is the gift for you. Only to be topped by a “STFU” stamp. Link: WTF Stamp

Super Mario 63

Say goodbye to your work day. Someone has created a Super Mario game, entirely in Flash. I can’t stop playing… Link: Super Mario 63

CNN, MSNBC and Fox in symphonic ecstacy

I believe the title says everything you need to know… Link: CNN, MSNBC and Fox in symphonic ecstacy

Sometimes (read: at least twice a week) I walk down to the vending machine for a sugar boost. Usually I go for the Three Musketeers bar, as that’s the only think I’ve found guaranteed not to have melted or gone stale in the delivery truck.

Today I took a closer look at the row beneath my usual destination, and was surprised by their pricing/marketing technique.

For some reason I have a feeling E2 is a lot more popular than E5

I’ve seen the commercials hundreds of times. I know I’ve never wanted one. It doesn’t matter what product, I might say “that’s cool” or “that’s interesting,” but really I’m thinking “what would I do with that crap?”

Except maybe the Shamwow. Though the host of their commercials freaks me out more than a little bit.

I mean, what am I going to do with the Hercules Hook? I don’t think I have 150 lbs. of stuff to hang from a hook. My fingers are still able to move enough that I don’t need the Clever Clasp. And I don’t have enough people to spy on to warrant buying the Listen Up.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is how desperate the manufacturers of these products have gotten. I don’t remember what product was being peddled earlier this evening, but they had the best payment plan of all-time. I might consider buying it, just because of the “deal” I would receive.

2 easy payments of $9.99

It can’t get much better than that, I guess.

“Okay, let’s put it on the truck!”

“No, wait. Bring it back! It can’t go out until tomorrow!”

These are the screws that hold my TV together. The TV I haven’t been able to put back together since I moved. Mainly because I’m not smart enough to put the original screws with the TV during a move.

This one caught me really off-guard the other day.

Usually two or three times a week, I make the treacherous trip down to the basement of the station. There could still be Asbestos lurking in the rafters, I’m not sure. But I do know that I have to go down there. That’s where they hide the candy.

I approached the vending machine. Trembling, I opened my wallet. I think my blood sugar was probably low; I mean I do get excited about Zingers, but not like that.

As I went to browse the bottom row, checking to see if we had Vanilla or Chocolate Zingers this week, I quickly glanced across the chip selection. You never know when you’ll need a bag of chips after the sugar rush is gone. Nothing truly interesting to see, but wait. “Did I just see a Burger King logo?” My eyes darted back to the center of the case. Thinking someone managed to get a Whopper wrapper into the vending machine I had to look. But to my surprise and disgust I saw…

Ketchup & Fries flavored chips from Burger King. Yes, you read it correctly. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

I didn’t even give them a try. And the only reason they got a second and third glance was so that I could grab my camera. That kind of flavor atrocity is on the same level as Steak-flavored ice cream or Long John Silvers.

If you’ve tried them, let me know. But I have a feeling you might be even more sane than me.

I’ve been told I need to work on rolling my R’s in Spanish. I was sent this list of words to practice with, and was told that it’s all about relaxing your tongue. It was suggested that I work on this process with @mmagnolia22. I think somewhere in there is a sexual harassment case.

Your 10 Spanish “R” words for personal practice:

1. Puerto Rico
2. carro ( kah-row) (car)
3. rojo (row-hoe) (red)
4. reja ( ray-ha) (fence)
5. raza ( rah-sa)(race)
6. reloj ( rey-low) (watch)
7. rosa ( row-sa) (pink)
8. raton ( rah-tone) ( rat)
9. red ( re-ed) ( internet)
10. ron (rum)

Odd. To say the least. But helpful.

Earlier this week, I was standing in line at Walgreen’s. While I was waiting, I took a few moments to admire the delicious looking candy, cough syrup and nail clippers that occupy the “impulse buy rack.” All I could think was, “Wow, for some reason I really feel the need to buy a 5-pack of 10 minute VHS tapes.”

That feeling soon passed. Why?

Because of the greatest impulse buy item. Ever.

The Walgreen’s brand One-Step Pregnancy Test.

And not just any pregnancy test. Apparently this one is so good (or bad) you should buy two! I mean, c’mon. Who wouldn’t want to buy more and save? You’re saving $2, hell buy four.

Another exciting week concluded on Saturday. I was planning to write this (ridiculously short and simple) post from the Indiana State Fairgrounds before our most recent Mecum Auto Auction on HD Theater, but ended up getting distracted by work (silly work).

I must say that the funniest part of the week had to be a trip to the restroom at the Fairgrounds. The auction show took place in the Chicken Coop, and this was the sign on the wall in men’s room.

I don’t know if it’s referring to cows, some weird sexual act, or the bathroom attendants that (by the condition of the bathroom) did not exist. But just so you know, don’t do it in there.

That’s… sanitary… right?

I washed my hands anyway, but still, how many high schoolers spit in there or something?

Oh and I’ve been asked to mention this: Maggie gave me a quarter of her sandwich (after I had finished a Frisco Melt and double-side of fries). Even though I ate some of her food, I’m not as big a douche as Dan.